LauraS

A Letter to Washington Regarding the Stimulus

Dear Esteemed Politicians,

I know many of you are new, and that the experience in our nation's capital can be both heady and confusing. Therefore, I'm writing to remind you that the Monopoly Money is the stuff that is pastel. Apparently, some (a "pared-down" $780,000,000,000.00 at last count) of the citizens' real money has slipped into your wild game. Normally I wouldn't be so rude to point out this slight and obviously unintentional mistake. However (dear me, I'm blushing), it seems that our children and grandchildren will be responsible for this debt so you can buy:

$99,600 worth of doorbells in Laurel, MS (net jobs produced: 2)
$6M to convert hybrids to electric cars in Boulder (net jobs produced: 0)
$650M more for Digital TV coupons (net jobs produced: 0)
$70M in smoking cessation programs (net jobs produced: ?)
$500K for a dog park in Chula Vista, CA (net jobs produced: 0)
$600M for the Heritage Trail in Natchez, MS (net jobs produced: 65)
$1.5M for a Prostitute Shelter in Dayton (net jobs produced: 0)
$500M for Solar Water Heaters in Puerto Rico ((net jobs produced: 14)
and--(this one deserves an award for "stupid positions have consequences" posterchild)--$400M for testing and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases.

Now, I know that you know best, and I'm certain that this is all a misunderstanding. How could you know that the water company turned off service to somebody in our upper middle-class subdivision a couple of days ago? Or that there's a foreclosure sign a few houses away? My 70-year old parents came out of retirement to do substitute teaching after their life savings tanked. My brother's business deal fell through because of the economy & he's going to lose everything. But obviously no one told you that businesses here are going belly up and people are losing jobs. However, if it wouldn't interrupt your game too long, perhaps you could talk to any of these people--or me, for that matter--and find we'd actually rather have the money to get back on his feet than to pay to test someone who didn't abstain for an STD.

I know that Washington, DC is far, far away from here, but I would be more than willing to bring you additional Monopoly Money for you to play with in exchange for the real money, which real people could use for real needs.

Sincerely,
Laura Singleton

Tags: economy, money, monopoly, stimulus

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Thomas R. Gilbert Jr Comment by Thomas R. Gilbert Jr on February 8, 2009 at 4:33pm
Well said Laura. The only problem is their going to pass it anyway, no matter what the census of Americans think. This pork so called stimulus bill will not generate enough jobs or stimulate the economy enough to get us out of this mess. The sorry thing is that most Americans are too ignorant to know what is in the bill. Your a great trooper kid.
Dr. Bill Smith (Ozark Guru) Comment by Dr. Bill Smith (Ozark Guru) on February 8, 2009 at 1:02am
Good Job - posted on the ARRA News Service: http://arkansasgopwing.blogspot.com/2009/02/open-letter-to-congress-regarding.html
Nicholas Terry Comment by Nicholas Terry on February 7, 2009 at 9:00pm
Well said, but...you won't find a member of Congress that will lose their voice speaking out against this...it sure would be nice if a large group of people ACTUALLY protested in front of the Capitol. Unless it's to protect a tree, pro-choice rights or save the terrorists, very little noise is being made outside of the dinner table or local pub.

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